Gravity
by MagicalRachel
Summary: “No,” Chad says, bringing a finger to Ryan’s mouth, “Don’t say anything. I just wanna know,” He’s slipping now, he can feel it. Soon the alcohol will have taken over. "I just wanna know why everything always comes back to you." Chad/Ryan, rewitten July09.


**Title: Gravity**

**Rating: **Somewhere between R and M mostly for language. Partly for smut.

**Word Count: **In the region of 5000.

**Summary: **"No," Chad says, bringing a finger to Ryan's mouth to quell whatever he's about to say, resting against parted lips, "Don't say anything. I just wanna know," He's slipping now, he can feel it. Soon the alcohol will have taken over and there will be nothing left. "I just wanna know why everything always comes back to you."

**Dedication: **For lj user=applepiecrust who requested Ryan's hats; dancing; boys being boys (clueless teenagers, miscommunication, all that), college visits/transfer applications, and New York City, thus presenting a rather interesting writing challenge for British me. I had a lot of fun with this and hope you enjoy it! Unbetaed.

**Additional Note**_**: **_Written originally for the 2008 Secret Santa exchange. Revisited and revised in July 2009 to correct some points I was unhappy with. Some new scenes were also added so if you read this before please give it another shot.

**Disclaimer:** Sadly I don't own any of this as it belongs to Disney. Song lyrics are from _Gravity_ by Bic Runga.

Gravity

_If gravity let us go we would all go flying..._

December 20th 2008, South Dorms parking lot, U of A

Chad grunts out a breath as he adds the last of his collection of boxes to the small mountain in the back of his dad's van. He's hated moving days since he was seven and his comic book collection fell out of the back of the truck and into the largest puddle in all of Albuquerque. Eleven years and four moves later and he's doing it again; this time voluntarily. Hopefully this one will be the last for a while. Hopefully.

His dad is leaning against the driver side door. "Final room check," Chad says, indicating with a nod of his head as he turns and jogs back to the dorm building. He swipes his key card at the door, pushing it open with his shoulder at the green light. The amount of times he's been locked out of this door and left at the mercy of his sympathetic dorm mates are almost uncountable, and now he's going in for the last time. He's practically bouncing as he waits for the elevator.

The room, not _his _room any more, is empty, much as he thought it would be. It's so different to how it was just days ago, before he packed his life up in a collection of boxes and _Target_ grocery bags, that he doesn't feel any twinge of longing looking round it for a final time. Maybe if the posters hadn't gone yet; if his photographs were still smiling down at him. He'd had more photographs than posters, preferring to make his own heroes rather than adopt other peoples'. Troy, Tay, Mom, Dad, Gabriella, his college friends, Sharpay, _Ryan_. Ryan. He smiles as he takes a final glance at the bareness, at the stark white of the walls splattered with dots of Blu Tak. There's some sort of poetry there, he thinks; swapping a full room inhabited by the loneliness of photographs for an empty room filled with anticipation. He steps back and closes the door.

Watch out New York; here comes Danforth.

October 5th 2008, The Danforth Residence, Albuquerque

"So..." Chad says the moment he hears Ryan pick up the call, "I hear New York's pretty nice in January? What about NYU? You think that'll be nice too?" Chad keeps his tone casual, wanting to see if Ryan gets what he's saying.

"New York's always nice honey, you know that." Ryan is apparently not getting it. "And the NYU campus is beautiful, but I don't go there, I go to Julliard. Julliard, Chad: big place, full of theatre types. Ring any.... OH MY GOD!"

Ryan has apparently just got it.

Chad's ears are still ringing half an hour later.

September 28th 2008, Chad's room, South Dorms, U of A

Webcams, Chad thinks as he watches Ryan jerk off on the other side of the country (his head thrown back, flush creeping from his cheeks to his chest as he matches Chad thrust for thrust, ragged breath for ragged breath), are quite possibly the best invention ever. Except for, he thinks as he comes down, heart rate attempting to return to some sort of normal rhythm, y'know, planes. And cars. And phones too. Especially camera phones.

"That was..." Ryan's breathy still. And a little sweaty too, Chad can see in the slightly grainy image on his laptop.

"Yeah." Chad's level of coherency about matches Ryan's, and suddenly he really wishes, even more than he does the rest of the time, that Ryan is with him and he is seeing Ryan, _really_ seeing Ryan, holding him as he comes, as he comes down. _Not much longer_, he reminds himself, counting down the days until Thanksgiving.

...

"You know," says Chad some time later, when they've both had chance to recoup. Ryan looks up into the camera and smiles, waiting for Chad to continue. They don't talk the entire time they're on camera. They don't get off the entire time either, but that's another thing. Sometimes they read, looking up from their text documents into the conversation window every once in a while to catch the other staring. Sometimes they just sit there, speaking when they've got something to say, and sitting in companionable silence the rest of the time. Once Chad just sat there whilst Ryan slept, the exhaustion of a long rehearsal taking him long before he'd made it to the bed.

The conversation window vibrates, a shrill sound emitting through the speakers. Chad nearly falls out of his chair. _Ryan has sent you a nudge._

Ryan is smiling at him, a chuckle barely escaping from between his closed lips. "Still with me, or still in the sparkly post cybersex land?"

Chad smiles back. "Neither," he says at the laptop, grateful once again that they both managed to get ones with built in microphones so they don't have to wear headsets. "I was just thinking."

"About me?" Ryan says hopefully, reaching to pick up the purple cord fedora he'd put on the desk when he'd taken his shirt off. Chad watches as he dusts some imagined speck of dust off the brim (as if any of Ryan's hats would _ever_ be allowed to get dusty), and puts it carefully back on his head.

"Is there anyone else?" Chad moves closer to the camera and winks slowly, making sure Ryan can't miss it.

Ryan's still giggling as Chad settles back in his chair.

"Actually I was thinking about your sister."

The look on Ryan's face is priceless, and Chad falls in love with the webcam (and the boy on the other end of it) all over again.

"You... you!"

Chad smirks at Ryan. "What about me?"

"You're unbelievable!"

"Tell me something I don't know."

He laughs as Ryan huffs and then pouts at him through the lens.

"You wanna know what I was thinking?" he asks Ryan, finally remembering what he had been about to say before he had got sidetracked.

"Go for it."

"Weeelll..." he drags the word out, "I was thinking, and this is the bit you're going to love, I was thinking that things only really went to shit after Sharpay announced she was off."

It takes Ryan several seconds to respond, possibly because of the internet delay and possibly, Chad thinks, because he's blinked and found himself in some sort of bizarre universe in which Chad and Sharpay not only like each other (which he, grudgingly, has to admit that they do), but in which Chad's happiness depends on Sharpay's presence in his life. Chad can't say he blames him.

"You... My... What?" Ryan splutters at last, and Chad wonders if Ryan will still love him after he confesses that he's just mentally promised his firstborn to whoever it was who invented his beloved webcam. It's possible, he thinks. But first he has some explaining to do.

"Well first there was Troy." he says, "And that was shitty, it really was. But I figure, suck it up Danforth, you're a big gay boy and just because your best friend since forever has decided to run off after some girl, and your boyfriend is going to be hitting the big time in the big city, it doesn't mean you can run off and cry like your baby sister."

"Uh huh," Ryan nods his head somewhat bemusedly, and it's understandable, really it is. "But what does this have to do with _my _sister?"

"Everything," Chad says. He lowers his head, suddenly wanting to look anywhere but at the screen, because if he looks there then he knows Ryan will see right inside of him, even through the webcam. "Because if not even Sharpay, fierce, talented, strong, beautiful Sharpay, can stay away from you, then how the fuck can I be expected to?"

Ryan is silent again.

Chad sighs despondently, lifting his head to look at his boyfriend, watching the tears track down his cheeks as he sits shaking.

"Ry..."

"I just... I love it here. I love it here so much." he sniffs, "School's incredible, and New York's just... Well it's New York- how could it be anything but fabulous? But..."

"There's always a but involved with you, isn't there?" Chad is teasing, wanting desperately to reach out through the internet connection and be there for Ryan.

Ryan manages a weak smile. "It's not the same without you."

"Yeah. I know."

December 13th 2008, Chad's room, U of A

"Who's Ian, Chad?"

"Wha-?" Chad has barely brought his cell to his ear before Ryan's voice rings out harshly.

"Ian? Who is he?"

Chad sighs. _Ian_. Ian is his soon to be personal tutor at NYU. He's called a few times to arrange the move and help Chad get everything settled, and Chad's called him a couple of times when he's had questions and to confirm dates. Ian's part of the reason Chad's managed to work it out so that he can go up there before Christmas and surprise Ryan. Sadly, Ian's also friends with Sharpay.

Some people should really learn how to keep secrets.

"Who told you then?" Chad says blandly, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. He'd hoped that he could keep it quiet until, y'know, it was all actually supposed to come out, but this was bound to happen eventually. Still he can't help but feel a little put out amd he knows it'll come across in his voice. "Was it Shar? Zeke?"

"Kelsi," Ryan says, coldly, and Chad can't help but be surprised, although it seems everybody knows everybody in the city so he really shouldn't be.

"Oh. Are you surprised?"

"Am. I. Surprised?" The line is silent for a few seconds. "Do you honestly expect me to answer that?"

"I thought you'd be pleased! Happy! Excited!" _Doing jazz squares!_

Ryan does not appear to appreciate the surprise. Chad almost sits out his hazlenut latte as he hears Ryan's next words. "Did you know that I could have your family killed?"

"Ry, I know it's not what we talked about, but isn't having my family killed a little drama princess-like even for you?" He sets his mug down and twirls his spoon around in his coffee aimlessly.

Ryan's almost yelling now. "Not what we talked about? This _thing_ with _Ian_ is so far from what we talked about that I don't even know where to begin."

"OK, so it was meant to be a secret and I didn't want you to find out yet, but now you know, so can't you just be happy about it?"

"I thought I could trust you. I thought I was enough for you."

"Wha- you _are_ enough for me. I love you Ry, I thought you knew that. Hell, I'm rearranging my life for you."

"Well you just rearranged your way out of my life and into Ian's. I'm sorry Chad. Oh, and about Christmas break? Seeing as you would quite clearly spend it with someone other than me, I'm going skiing."

Twelve unanswered calls later Chad turns his phone off and crawls into bed.

December 14th 2008, Chad's room, U of A

Chad blinks slowly as his eyes adjust to the light. It feels like something crawled inside his head and died. For some reason he's still fully clothed; blankets tangled in his old Wildcat sweater. He doesn't remember why.

Then it hits him and he wishes he could forget again: the argument, the accusations. Ugh.

He says he's going skiing at Christmas. The words circle round and round in Chad's head, making him dizzy. Ryan's going skiing at Christmas, because he thinks Chad's got better things to do, better _people_ to do, and, really, his whole world's just going to shit right about now.

There's only one thing for it. He has to get to New York before Ryan leaves.

He takes a deep breath and picks up the phone.

"Dad?" he says when he hears the familiar _Son_, "There's been a change of plans."

_Shit, he realises as he puts the phone down. He's got less than a week to pack._

November 7th 2008, Varsity Diner, U of A Campus

Chad sips his double chocolate shake through a straw, the fingers of his right hand wrapped tightly round his condensation covered glass, whilst picking up a slice of Hawaiian pizza with his left hand. He's sitting with the rest of the Redhawks (his _boys)_ in the Diner, celebrating their victory as they always did, crammed round three tables that look suspiciously as if they've been lifted from the East High Cafeteria. Sometimes Chad thinks he's not as far away from high school as he'd like to be.

Still, there are some things from East High he wants to keep with him. Best friends being one of them.

Speaking of Troy... Chad looks at his watch and then around to the doorway.

"Chad my man!" Chad smiles. Punctual as usual. Some things never change.

Troy looks good, Chad thinks, the California sunshine evidently agreeing with him, standing in the doorway fronting a whole group of guys (_Bears_, Chad reminds himself) decked in blue and gold jackets. He's smiling so much that Chad thinks his face is about to fall off.

"Troy," he smiles and manoeuvres his way out from the haphazardly arranged tables to get to him. No amount of emails and text messages have been any substitute for this.

...

Gabriella is a genius, he hears, and settling in just brilliantly at Stanford. Not that Chad didn't know this; of all their friends Gabriella is probably the one who keeps everyone updated the most. Still, Troy has never been one to avoid the subject of his girlfriend and so Chad lets him babble around his bacon cheeseburger and curly fries. It's not like he doesn't have big news for Troy anyway.

"... and so I told her that after Christmas we'll all be seeing each other much more anyways because, dude, we've got those two games before Spring Break... Chad?"

Oh. Chad had been hoping he'd have a little longer. He lets out a nervous laugh.

"Chad?"

"Yeah... The games. Except..." _You'll be there without me. We're gonna have to take a rain check. I'm bailing on you, like you bailed on me._ "I won't be playing. Not for the Redhawks."

"You're- what?"

"I didn't want to tell you. Not over the phone. Not by email. I'm moving to New York. I'm sorry."

Troy doesn't say anything, his mouth full of curly fries. He blinks owlishly at Chad and swallows quickly, almost choking.

"Ryan." he whispers. Chad nods.

"Yeah." Chad twirls his straw aimlessly round in his empty glass.

"I'm surprised, you know." And this is unexpected. Troy's always been OK with everything before, with _Chad_.

"What, because we're both guys? Or because it's Ryan?"

"What?! No!" Troy looks bemused and Chad wants to hug him right there. "I'm just surprised it's taken you this long!"

...

Chad tells Troy everything after that; about how lonely he's been; about the course he's transferring to (major in computer sciences, minor in graphic arts, academic scholarship); about his and Ryan's plans for Christmas; about how he realised he wanted to transfer back in September but they won't let him until the new semester.

The Diner is closing by the time they finish talking.

"One question dude," Troy says as he heads back to his truck, wanting to get back to his parents' house downtown before it gets too late. "I know this rules out any college ball rematches, but you'll still be playing, right?"

"Was there any doubt?"

Troy nods. "Then expect to get your ass whooped over break. Later man."

"Later."

December 15th 2008, U of A

**12:37pm, Lincoln Memorial Canteen**

Sharpay's voice intercepts the dial tone.

_This is Ryan's phone. He's clearly too busy to talk to you so I suggest you leave a message and he'll get back to you if and when it's convenient. Toodles!_

"Ry... Ry it's me. I fucked up. I know I fucked up and I'm sorry. Listen, I'm coming to New York this weekend and I don't want you to be still not talking to me by then because I'm too much of an idiot to just tell you upfront that I'm moving early. I know what you thought Ian was to me, but he's completely and honestly just a friend who's helping me out with the move to NYU. There's nothing going on, I promise. Not now, not ever, and you have no idea how sorry I am that you thought that. I should have told you about moving before Christmas and not tried to make it into some sort of surprise, but I'm stupid and so so sorry. Listen, I've gotta go now, but I'll have my cell on again after class. Please talk to me. I love you. Bye."

**15:44pm, outside the English block**

The shrill ringing of Chad's iphone (his graduation present from his parents) almost as soon as he switches it back on surprises him so much that he almost drops the thing. Ryan's name is on the display. He presses connect hesitantly.

"Hey."

"Hey," Ryan's voice is soft and Chad knows he hasn't lost him. Not yet anyways.

"I'm sorry," he blurts out, nerves creeping into his voice.

"Me too," says Ryan. "I knew you would never... And I'm such an idiot for thinking that."

"Yeah? Well if you are it's only because you learned it from me. I should have told you what was up."

"Maybe. But if I hadn't been such a drama princess it wouldn't have been a problem."

They both start laughing, and suddenly Chad's world is back at rights again.

December 21st 2008, NYC

**16:24**

New York City, Chad realises from the moment he steps out of La Guardia and into the waiting cab, is a very strange place. It's vibrant, buzzing, and so much fucking colder than Albuquerque that he almost wants to turn around and get back on the plane. Except he doesn't; not really, not at all. It's also familiar, really familiar, and yet completely alien, something he blames on watching too many episodes of _Friends_. He gets the feeling he's going to like it.

His stuff isn't going to be there until after Christmas, like they'd originally planned, so he's staying in the Evans' apartment (the one Mama Evans made sure the twins had access to, because even though it's college policy that all freshmen live on campus it wouldn't do for her Ducky and Kitten to have to be with students all of the time), and all he has is the bag on his back and the suitcase he's currently wheeling behind him.

Ryan meets him at the Starbucks near his apartment block. It's all a bit hastily put together as his plane was delayed on the runway for an hour and a half and so by the time he actually gets into the city they only have half an hour before Ryan's due at a rehearsal for his community theatre Christmas show. Ryan smiles and laughs and hugs Chad, and constantly checks his watch because he has "places to go, people to see, kids to organise and, honey, much as I love you I can't really reorganise _all_ of my Christmas plans around you." Chad's phone rings then, and Ryan rushes out the door somewhere in the second round of "Yes Mom, my plane landed OK, and I made it to New York fine and I promise I will call you," because heaven forbid his Mom only ask him these things once. Ryan giggles as they blow kisses at each other through the window whilst Chad rolls his eyes at his Mom's questioning, before running off, a spring in his step, to the theatre.

The message alert on Chad's phone goes almost as soon as he finally, _finally_ gets his Mom to hang up.

_So glad ur here… will show u just how glad 2nite ;) Sorry had to rush - love u x_

Still, Chad feels oddly bereft as he walks into the apartment alone.

**20:37, Ryan's room**

"So there's Mandy's, that's Kelsi's girlfriend by the way, party tomorrow night, and then on the 23rd it's my community show, and on Christmas Eve we're all going to _Juice, _and Shar said-"

Chad steps out of the bathroom as Ryan's in mid flow, a towel wrapped around his hips, water droplets clinging to the tips of his hair. He raises an eyebrow at Ryan.

"Shar said what?"

"Shopping," Ryan blurts out, his eyes not leaving Chad's chest. "She said, uh, that we should all go shopping tomorrow, and then to dinner before the party. And that tonight we should go to that bar that just opened three blocks down."

"Well we could…" Chad says, dropping his towel to the floor, "But I was thinking that with this manic social schedule you seem to have planned out we're not going to have much private time."

Ryan's gaze seems to lower somewhat. His tongue flicks out to moisten his bottom lip, his mouth suddenly dry. "Private time? Yeah, I guess we are going to be a bit busy. Well… now's good. Now's very-" He steps back and sits, almost falls onto the bed behind him, "-good."

"Yeah?" Chad steps closer, leaving the towel in a crumpled heap on the hardwood floor.

"Yeah."

---

Sex is better with Ryan, Chad thinks as he prepares him carefully, adding a third finger to the two in his ass because, yes, it's been a while. Sex is always better with Ryan, but especially after so long, after nothing but cybersex foreplay and unsatisfactory solo orgasms since Thanksgiving. And especially with the sight of Ryan, writhing on his fingers as they twist this way or that, his pale skin flushed with arousal, as his face tenses and relaxes as he struggles to control himself.

"Not gonna-" Ryan grunts out as Chad puts his hand on his cock. His fists are clenched and Chad doesn't think he's ever seen anything more beautiful.

"Then don't." he says, "We have all night."

Ryan lets go then, his come forming ribbons that paint his skin, his breath coming out in sharp pants. Nothing more beautiful, Chad thinks as he reaches for a condom packet, except that.

---

Ryan's fingers tightly squeeze his own as he pushes in again. They're on their sides this time, curled around each other on the bed. It's late, Chad thinks, almost too late to still be doing this, given that he has an appointment with the university admissions office at 8:30 the next morning, but he doesn't really care. This, _this _feeling of being inside Ryan, of being safe and loved, and thoroughly fucked and fucked out, is worth any exhaustion he might encounter the next day.

He strokes along Ryan's belly with their joined hands and Ryan smiles sleepily up at him.

"Just, go slow, OK?" Ryan says, turning his head further to kiss Chad messily. "I just want to feel you." He kisses Chad again and rocks his hips back, taking Chad further inside him. "I missed you."

"Me too."

---

It's almost 4am by the time they both get to sleep.

December 24th 2008, NYC

**21:14, the twins' apartment**

Chad isn't entirely sure why he's mad at Ryan. It might be that it's Christmas Eve, for fucks sake, and this is his fourth day here and he's barely seen his boyfriend without twelve other people in the way. It might be that he's moved all the way across the country to be with Ryan and he didn't tell him when he was coming with more than a few days' notice, so of course Ryan has already made plans with his friends for parties and gatherings full of people that Chad doesn't know, doesn't want to know right now because the only place he wants to be is inside Ryan. And even though he's going with Ryan, because Ryan's done his best to include Chad in everything he couldn't get out of, it's not the same. It might even be that he's had to listen to Sharpay and Zeke doing _things_ for the last three nights and he's really, seriously not sure how much he can take when he's not getting much himself, because with all the parties, the shopping, the rehearsals and the show, Ryan's falling asleep the second his head hit's the pillow. He's not sure. All he knows is that he's pissed off and Ryan doesn't have a clue.

And even if he did, it wouldn't change the fact that he still has tickets for a flight on Christmas day to some fancy ski resort that he probably owns that he doesn't seem to have cancelled even though Chad's here now and because of that he really should. Or something. Sometimes Chad's level of irrationality astounds even himself.

Which is why when Ryan reminds him of the night of drinking and debauchery he and his friends have planned at _Juice_ (which is apparently New York's equivalent of _Babylon_, but without the backroom, and Chad really needs to get Ryan off his _Queer as Folk_ habit), he grasps the opportunity to get out of his funk with both hands.

It helps, of course that Ryan's chosen tonight to wear his skinny jeans.

The limited edition disco ball bottle of _Absolut_ he has in his fridge doesn't hurt matters does the extremely convincing fake ID Ryan's left for him on the counter.

**23:57, **_**Juice**_

Chad shakes his head, struggling to clear the fog in his brain as he moves through the slightly hazy, slightly blurry round the edges crowd of people to the bar. _Juice_ is a crowded mass of sweaty, writhing beings, but then it always is on a Wednesday, Ryan tells him (student night, cheap Cosmos), and especially on Christmas Eve. The music is so loud Chad can barely hear it as much as feel it, the thump thump of the bass vibrating up through his sneakers, his jeans, his shirt and his hair, making him buzz almost as much as the five (or was it six?) vodkas have. His arms are bent by his sides, parting the crowd like water. He needs to get out of here. He needs a drink.

The bar area is cooler than the dance floor and makes Chad feel like he can breathe again. The atmosphere is heavy tonight, pressing in on him, _waiting _for something to happen. And Ryan is waiting too. Waiting for him.

"Hey," he half shouts in Chad's ear, struggling to be heard above the crowd, the music, the _club_. He looks hot, Chad thinks, all smudged kohl and glitter, raspberry coloured fedora perched on damp hair, his skin glowing. And the jeans. Mustn't forget the jeans.

Ryan passes Chad a plastic cup of something pink and Chad downs it in one, feeling the heat travel down and settle in his belly. He's more than buzzing now. Ryan is giggly, flirting, wriggling seductively to the music, and Chad finds himself mesmerised by the turn of his hips, the way the fabric of his t shirt clings to his skin. It's almost enough to make him forget that he's mad at Ryan even if Ryan doesn't know it.

"Merry Christmas!" he hears Ryan shout, and he checks his watch to see that, yes, at some point in the last four minutes they've passed the threshold into Christmas Day. Ryan's lips press insistently on his neck, sweeping round to his jaw, and Chad feels warm. Too warm. From the alcohol, from this, from _Ryan_. Christmas in Albuquerque was never like this.

"Yeah," Chad says, swallowing hard, "Merry-" Ryan's hand's creep round to his ass, squeezing gently, "Christmas."

Ryan is laughing against Chad's jaw. He presses a quick kiss to his lips and then pulls back, taking his hand. "Honey, we have to go now," Ryan half shouts apologetically, "I promised Mandy and Kels we'd meet them in -"

"No," Chad says, bringing a finger to Ryan's mouth to quell whatever he's about to say, resting against parted lips, "Don't say anything. I came to see you, not anyone else, and it's like I've seen everyone _but _you." It's not true, and he knows it, knows that Ryan's had to make things work as much as Chad has, but he can't seem to stop, can't seem to get past this selfish feeling of wanting Ryan, nothing but Ryan, all to himself, that he's been having since he stepped off the plane. "I changed my whole life for you and you're going skiing tomorrow… I just wanna know," He's slipping now, he can feel it. Soon the alcohol will have taken over and there will be nothing left. "I just wanna know why everything always comes back to you." And then he's gone, vodka rushing through his veins in place of blood, heart pulsing with the bass, not walking so much as dancing away from Ryan. He's going to regret this in the morning.

December 25th 2008, The twins' apartment, NYC

Ryan's fingers combing gently through his hair wake him up. His mouth is dry and he struggles to swallow. His head feels like Ryan's tap danced his way through it and, who knows, maybe he has. He certainly doesn't know, doesn't remember, doesn't want to think about it. Not right now. Maybe not ever. He fucked up last night; he's sure of it. But there are cool fingers moving across his overheated skin and suddenly everything seems ok again.

"You're-" _still here_, he tries to say but his mouth won't work. He feels the rim of a cold glass push against his lips and he sips gratefully.

"Actually, you're still here," Ryan says gently, "Given that this is my place and all."

"What-" _did I do last night? What did I say?_

"Nothing you need to get your panties in a twist over, precious." The corners of Ryan's mouth turn up in a smile and Chad knows he's telling the truth.

He swallows a few times and takes more sips of water, trying to get his mouth to cooperate. He gasps suddenly, realising what day it is. "Your flight!"

Ryan's mopping Chad's brow with some sort of cloth now, and _oh_ that feels so good.

"Hush," he says. "I'm not going."

"But you love skiing!"

"I love you more." Ryan strokes Chad's cheek softly, placing warm open mouthed kisses on his jawline. "Anyways," he says, "it's gravity."

"Gravity?"

"Keeping us together. You wanted to know-"

"_I just wanna know why everything always comes back to you."_

Chad smiles as he rolls on to his back, pulling Ryan on to him, his weight pushing him into the mattress. Gravity. Yeah.

---

Chad's Christmas present from Ryan is two flight tickets to that fancy ski resort (that it turned out his parents do own), and a box of green and red condoms.


End file.
